https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/ Recent content on Always Judge a Book by its Cover Hugo -- gohugo.io en-us Sun, 08 Jan 2023 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/guides/coloring-books/knee-surgery-coloring-book/ Sun, 08 Jan 2023 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/guides/coloring-books/knee-surgery-coloring-book/
I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow in the knee. Another completely wonderful niche that needed (hah get it) to be filled, I can only assume that after an ACL tear, the author woke up to the startling realization that while off their feet coloring would be a zen way to fill the time, and that there’s no EXACT book that perfectly encompasses the need to try to relax while also be frustrated and the immobility of a knee injury.

This Knee Recovery on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/guides/coloring-books/adult-swearing-coloring-book/ Sun, 08 Jan 2023 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/guides/coloring-books/adult-swearing-coloring-book/
Admitting you’re an asshole is the first step! The first and foremost thing that is amusing about this cuss-riddled coloring book is that it labels itself for adults, as though there’s an equivalent children’s swearing coloring book (there isn’t one, I looked, but someone should probably fill this amazing gap in the market). Not only will you have an enjoyable time filling in the words you’ve always wished to share with your coworkers, inlaws, and that crotchety aunt, but you’ll also be expanding your cuss vocabulary with a bunch of new vulgarities that will surprise and delight as they are slowly colored into your subconscious.

Adult Swearing on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/guides/coloring-books/people-of-walmart-coloring-book/ Sun, 08 Jan 2023 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/guides/coloring-books/people-of-walmart-coloring-book/
Break out your deepest red white and blues for the people of Walmart. If you’ve been following always judge a book by its cover you’ll know that I’m an absolute sucker for mediocrity, and what is more dull and boring than the life and times of people in Walmart. But then again when you stare deeply into the void perhaps the life and times of people in Walmart are the perfect topic for a coloring book.

People of Walmart on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/guides/coloring-books/florida-man-coloring-book/ Sun, 08 Jan 2023 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/guides/coloring-books/florida-man-coloring-book/
Florida Man, the life-inspired meme, or meme-inspired life? Fun fact about “Florida Man”, the news headlines in reality are born from the freedom of information laws in California, whereby news are able to find out more about the commiters of certain crimes (such as Man/Woman), hence they can report the zany headlines we have all come to love and/or hate. Now, while some may dislike the meme, we can all appreciate the coloring book, and not much in this world will give you the free-flying feeling of coloring in the teeth of “Florida Man Bites Boat Captain”, outside of doing the act yourself.

Florida Man on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/guides/coloring-books/pooping-farting-swearing-animals-coloring-book/ Tue, 03 Jan 2023 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/guides/coloring-books/pooping-farting-swearing-animals-coloring-book/
If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know it could only really come to this That’s right, someone decided to gather the three powerhouse elements of the adult coloring world and combine them into a magnum opus, pooping, searing & farting, the holy trinity all in one. This coloring book should only really be attempted after you’ve maxed out and completed its predecessors, as it truly is the pièce de résistance of the coloring world.

Pooping Swearing Farting Monsters on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/all-that-the-rain-promises-and-more/ Fri, 11 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/all-that-the-rain-promises-and-more/
Trumpets, tuxedo’s, mushroom’s and more. This beautiful pocket guide to mushrooms is one of the most confusing covers that have ever existed, it can only be assumed that upon finishing the book, David Arora, who has has previous mushroom based publications (that themselves have fully sensible covers) realized on his way to perform with his local philharmonic, trumpet in hand reached out into the forrest and ripped up some mushrooms taking careful care not to get any dirt on his freshly rented tuxedo and snapped a quick pic… sent it off to the publisher and bam, straight onto the cover it went.

All That the Rain Promises and More on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/how-to-survive-a-garden-gnome-attack/ Sun, 06 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/how-to-survive-a-garden-gnome-attack/
Crucial survival information when dealing with one of the world’s smallest menaces. I’m going to even with you on this one, it wasn’t until reading this book that I discovered how menacing these little creatures can be, at first you’ll see one, then two, three, five, eight, and just like a Fibonacci tornado of tiny shovels and pickaxes you’ll be on your back foot dealing with a great uprising! You need to nip it in the bud as soon as possible.

Survive a Garden Gnome Attack on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/dont-sit-on-the-baby/ Wed, 25 Nov 2020 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/dont-sit-on-the-baby/
Often things come easier to some peope, and others, just have to learn the hard way. Whether you’re considering a new life with a baby in it or reflecting on your days of carefree sitting, there’s always something that can be learned. Don’t sit on the baby is a practical guide to get you through those early days with some very clear do’s (feed the baby) and dont’s (sit on the baby)… these are just a couple of little teasers if you want more, and i can tell you do, you’re going to have to delve deep into the pages yourself!

Don't Sit On the Baby! on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/crap-taxidermy/ Thu, 27 Aug 2020 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/crap-taxidermy/
At the end of the day, there’s nothing interesting about good taxidermy. It’s often overlooked that when you’re on your way to mastering an art, you have to sometimes make a few crappy versions of, well, whatever you’re working on to get to the top. You won’t really be surprised to find that taxidermy is no exception to this rule. Now, if staring at re-animated animals like that weird guy in American Beauty does it for you, then you’re in for a true treat, as Crap Taxidermy puts on display some of the strangest, weirdest, spine-tingling, very often act-against-mother-nature level displays including many a one-eyed beast.

Crap Taxidermy on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/the-field-guide-to-dumb-birds-of-north-america/ Fri, 07 Aug 2020 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/the-field-guide-to-dumb-birds-of-north-america/
You may be outwitted by the smart ones, but these ones are more in your grasp. There is a difficult problem to solve in national parks, as people often leave behind (rudely I might add) trash quite often near the trash cans, but surprisingly not always within them, as some of the bins have bear proofing. A park ranger was quoted: “There is a significant overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest people.

Dumb Birds of NA on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/identifying-wood/ Sat, 11 Jul 2020 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/identifying-wood/
Yep, It’s Wood. You may not know it, but you are surrounded by wood. Your Dining table and chairs? Wood. The walls of your house? Wood. Literally every single tree? Wood. Oh my, you’re realizing that your ability to identify wood might be a little more important than you first thought! Next, you’re going to learn that there are hard and softwoods… try to fathom the intense power you would have if you could walk into a room and say “yep, that’s a soft cedar hybrid”.

Identifying Wood on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/sun-beams-may-be-extracted-from-cucumbers-but-the-process-is-tedious./ Mon, 18 May 2020 00:00:01 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/sun-beams-may-be-extracted-from-cucumbers-but-the-process-is-tedious./
The most boring book, for the most boring person. As someone who prides themselves in collecting strange and boring books, I have to say, this one truly takes the cucumber… but the process is tedious. Now. If you love cucumbers, sun, beams, tedious processes, or have family in New Haven then there is a chapter within this marvelous oration for you. But for real, if you’re into 1800’s history, and have the true strength of will and mind to look past the red flags that are the cover and title of this wonder, then you’re in for a treat; That is, a series of manuscripts for your trouble, providing insights into the lives and troubles of people who would definitely not read this if it was between that and eating 15 raw cucumbers in a row.

Sun-beams from cucumbers on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/how-to-raise-your-i.q.-by-eating-gifted-children/ Sun, 03 May 2020 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/how-to-raise-your-i.q.-by-eating-gifted-children/
Children are the new Super Food. The topic of cannibalism is not a sticky one. It’s pretty set in stone, so you won’t find any strange information coming from me when it comes down to brass tacks… that said, in this world’s competitive environment, you’re going to need to find an edge. And if you don’t, someone else will. That being said, if you are the kind of person who likes to talk about their I.

How to Raise Your I.Q. on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/microwave-for-one/ Sun, 12 Apr 2020 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/microwave-for-one/
Microwave cooking turned all the way up to 1. If you’ve ever needed a reason to kick out your friends and treat yourself to a warm all the way through, slightly soggy meal, well now you have one. Microwave for One is really the book that put Sonia Allison on the map, some say she meditated alone for in solidarity for an entire year, working her way into a trans-like state and accepting wholly and fully what it is like to be one with the microwave, and then one by one ripped the recipe’s out of the void and wrote them into this book.

Microwave for One on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/a-million-random-digits-with-100000-normal-deviates/ Fri, 27 Mar 2020 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/a-million-random-digits-with-100000-normal-deviates/
The perfect guidebook for numbers 0 to 9 in random order! When was the time you read a book that contained every single number in it… probably never! Not only does this book contain 0’s and 1’s, but it also has 2’s and 3’s. In fact, it contains all ten numbers that exist. Now, the book touts that these digits are in completely random order, but some dark edges of the internet believe there is a pattern in this book, waiting for someone with rain-man like abilities to truly decode its secrets.

A Million Random Digits on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/how-to-make-a-towel-monkey-and-other-cruise-ship-favorites/ Thu, 27 Feb 2020 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/how-to-make-a-towel-monkey-and-other-cruise-ship-favorites/
One of the worlds greatest mysteries finally revealed. There are many things that keep me up at night… the mysteries entangled within the Bermuda Triangle, the DaVinci Code, and the sock missing from the washing machine… the secret of the towel monkey was another of the universes most tightly kept secrets until this tell-all exclusive! If you’ve ever tried to painstakingly deconstruct a towel monkey, in step-by-step meticulous detail, you will have fallen into the same traps as I did.

How to Make a Towel Monkey on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/mom-is-dating-weird-wayne/ Sat, 22 Feb 2020 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/mom-is-dating-weird-wayne/
Find out what mom is up to next in this exciting hit. Oh no! You wake from a nightmare and remember that your mom is still dating weird Wayne. This book is more of a guidebook than a novel: how to come up with creative ways to distract and disturb your mother as she tries to re-enter the dating world and become happy again. An extra disturbing feature of this book is that there is one on sale (at the time of writing) for over $800… I guess good advice is hard to come by these days.

Mom is Dating Weird Wayne on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/crafting-with-cat-hair-cute-handicrafts-to-make-with-your-cat/ Sat, 08 Feb 2020 00:00:59 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/crafting-with-cat-hair-cute-handicrafts-to-make-with-your-cat/
Have you been storing your cat’s hair, waiting for your moment? Well, your moment is now. Crafting with Cat Hair is the kind of page-turner that keeps you up at night. Not only will do I love it, but my Cat (always loving the brush) also can’t put it down either. Kaori Tsutaya goes above and beyond in the hunt for literary perfection, covering the topic from the garden of Eden (gathering the cat’s hair) right through to the completion of the world (crafting cats from your cats).

Crafting with Cat Hair on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/extreme-ironing/ Sat, 08 Feb 2020 00:00:58 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/extreme-ironing/
For the adrenaline junky looking to get their fix in this modern crazy world. If you’re like me, crumpled shirts are an absolute no-no, I won’t even leave the house with one. Before I read this book I felt alone… when accidents happened, accidentally causing a crease in my otherwise perfectly cardboard-esque flat shirt, I would retreat to safety in my home… now, I’ve seen the light, and the light is all about carrying with you the tools to iron your shirts.

Extreme Ironing on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/the-stray-shopping-carts-of-eastern-north-america/ Sat, 08 Feb 2020 00:00:56 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/the-stray-shopping-carts-of-eastern-north-america/
Are you considering a trip to Eastern North America? It would be a huge missed opportunity to go without knowing how to identify the shopping carts of the local areas. For those in the know, the differences between Eastern and Western North American shopping carts are just night and day. Honestly, I sometimes lie awake at night cringing at the cart misidentification of my past. Those days are long behind me though, whether it be the northern four-wheeled whistler, to the eastern tri-tailed wongler.

The Stray Shopping Carts on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/the-manly-art-of-knitting/ Sat, 08 Feb 2020 00:00:56 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/the-manly-art-of-knitting/
A man needs to know many things. On the top of that list, is the noble art of knitting. Hey there cowboy. You’ve got the ranching part down, sheep are your game. Herding sheep, shearing sheep, and selling that fine A grade wool. The wool goes to the stores, people buy the wool, people knit with the wool, and when the winter rolls around, you’re buying your own wool back!?

The Manly Art of Knitting on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/crocheting-adventures-with-hyperbolic-planes/ Sat, 08 Feb 2020 00:00:56 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/crocheting-adventures-with-hyperbolic-planes/
Deep down you feel it. The time is now. Take the plunge and raise your Crocheting to the next level. Forget scarves. Forget Socks. Forget Sweaters. Forget anything Euclidean… from now on, it’s all about non-Euclidean geometries. Get those crocheting needles ready, because this book is the jumping-off point… no longer will you be making useful items to keep you warm during the winter. Now you’ll be turning your left frontal lobe into the thundering thermos that will keep you in a heated sweat for the rest of your life.

Crocheting Adventures on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/be-bold-with-bananas./ Sat, 08 Feb 2020 00:00:46 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/be-bold-with-bananas./
You’re bold with apples. You’re bold with oranges. Well now, its time to be Bold. With. Bananas! An instant classic that will take you right back to its publishing date, 1974. An instant beloved treasure that will open your eyes to the world of bananas. An instant friend that will sit quietly on the bookshelf at your home… you’ll look across the room in a small gathering and make gentle eye contact, and feel true comfort.

Bold with Bananas on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/outwitting-squirrels-101-cunning-stratagems/ Sat, 08 Feb 2020 00:00:38 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/outwitting-squirrels-101-cunning-stratagems/
The full title is quite the mouthful. “Outwitting Squirrels: 101 Cunning Stratagems to Reduce Dramatically the Egregious Misappropriation of Seed from Your Birdfeeder by Squirrels” Do squirrels always seem one step ahead of the game to you? I know they did for me… but after this book, I can call them thoroughly and utterly outwitted. Honestly, I can say that now as I walk down the street, the squirrels turn their heads as to not make eye contact.

Outwitting Squirrels on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/anybody-can-be-cool-but-awesome-takes-practice/ Sat, 08 Feb 2020 00:00:31 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/anybody-can-be-cool-but-awesome-takes-practice/
Cool people? They’re a dime a dozen. Look left, look right, there they are. But Awesome people… that’s a whole different thing. Practicing being Awesome with a capital A is a difficult task, with many sub awesome tasks that you will need to overcome on your quest to the guy on the cover of this book… lighting up his audience with an eye wateringly beautiful tale of how when he wakes up in the morning, the sun looks to him to see if it should rise.

Anybody Can Be Cool on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/how-to-talk-to-your-cat-about-gun-safety/ Sat, 08 Feb 2020 00:00:31 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/how-to-talk-to-your-cat-about-gun-safety/
Do you love your cat? Well, no self-respecting cat mom or dad would let their baby grow up without a solid grounding in gun safety. Not only does this resource cover gun safety, which can be at times a difficult subject to breach with your kittens, it also covers abstinence, drugs, and satanism! Nine lives arent an excuse to be ignorant of the dangers as well as the ups and downs of living a healthy and safe life, free from gun-related accidents.

How to Talk to Your Cat on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/walmart-atlas/ Sat, 08 Feb 2020 00:00:30 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/walmart-atlas/
The only atlas you’ll ever need. Imagine this, you get back from a busy day in the city. You’re tired of your job and the endless grind. You open your Walmart Atlas. Closing your eyes, you start flicking through the pages with your keyboard-calloused fingers. You slap your index finger down on a random page. The famous Walmart of Omaha, Nebraska. Your eyes light up, that’s it! You book the flights immediately, not an ounce of doubt in your mind.

Walmart Atlas on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/people-who-dont-know-theyre-dead-how-they-attach-themselves-to-unsuspecting-bystanders-and-what-to-do-about-it/ Sat, 08 Feb 2020 00:00:29 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/people-who-dont-know-theyre-dead-how-they-attach-themselves-to-unsuspecting-bystanders-and-what-to-do-about-it/
Has someone dead attached themselves to you? This guide will help you, and them, move on. There is a wonderful duality to this book. Its the kind that will help you if you’re healthy and alive, but also, if you’re the kind of introspective dead person it will also be a very useful resource. The real treasure of this beauty is the chapters on attachment to unsuspecting bystanders, which again are relevant to both the living and dead.

People Who Don't Know on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/dancing-with-cats./ Sat, 08 Feb 2020 00:00:29 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/dancing-with-cats./
You’ve seen Dances with Wolves 1000 times. You never miss an episode of Dancing with the stars. Well, now you’re ready for Dancing with Cats! This book isn’t about that cat and mouse that’s between a cat and a mouse. It’s about the cat and mouse that’s between a human and a cat. “Please for the love of all that is holy let me love you” would be the words I would utter within my brain, trying to win the affections of my beloved cat.

Dancing with Cats on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/do-it-yourself-coffins-for-pets-and-people/ Sat, 08 Feb 2020 00:00:25 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/do-it-yourself-coffins-for-pets-and-people/
If you’re a fan of the darker side of literature, this one is for you. Edgar Allan Poe wept, whilst reading the ever macabre “Do it yourself coffins”, for he knew that there was a whole new dimension of darkness that could be bled from the pages. Whether you’re the amateur coffin maker or the do-it-yourself planner of the future, you shouldn’t browse without at least considering this beauty. Now, this doesn’t go without warning, if you’re the perfectionist looking for the perfect place to rest your head, reviews of this book suggest there are many some improvements that can be made… for those, I guess we’ll be waiting for the second edition.

Do It Yourself Coffins on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/better-never-to-have-been-the-harm-of-coming-into-existence/ Sat, 08 Feb 2020 00:00:20 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/better-never-to-have-been-the-harm-of-coming-into-existence/
The very thought of sitting down to write, and deciding that the knowledge you wish to share with the world is purely what the world would be like without you in it… gives me the strangest kind of chills. If you ever lie awake wondering about the butterfly effect… what small things you’ve done in the world that have had massive repercussions, then this book is not for you, because after it you’ll actually just straight up stop sleeping.

Better Never to Have Been on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/eating-people-is-wrong/ Wed, 05 Feb 2020 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/eating-people-is-wrong/
The all in one book for the person on the fence. So you’re considering eating someone!? You may have also read our previously reviewed “How to Raise Your IQ by Eating Gifted Children” and been swayed by its convincing ways, well it’s almost certainly time to consider other options, and this book will be your guiding light to finding them. This book will take you through the many alternative, including regularly farmed vegetables and meats, processed foods, and raw foods such as grass… you may find yourself delightfully surprised at the options we have these days.

Eating People is Wrong on Amazon https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/terms/ Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000 https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/terms/
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